The Ghost that hunts me....the Lament of a Woman in Doubt

Trust is an assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something...

"you said you love me..you said I'm your future...you said I'm your life...your everything but how could you still be "distracted" by her", she asked. silence. awkward silence. " i don't know", he answered quietly. more silence and the conversation slowly drifted until it was gone. a familiar pain pinched her heart. sadness and bitterness consumed her for the moment....then a blank wall....

"is the love i gave him not enough?" she asked herself. more questions. "am i not thoughtful and caring enough?" more rationalizations. " i do remember that i always make him laugh; i do remember that i always try my best to support him; i do remember that i try my best to be a "superwoman" but still....SHE still beats me." the green-eyed monster is slowly taking shape clouding her judgement. then lastly she asked, "what does the future hold now...will this be the ghost that haunts me?" then she realized she has an angel. she smiled faintly at him and said, "don't worry sweetheart, mama is here." a tear fell.


*written 07/01/07 01:40 am

Flow of consciousness

the boss is sleeping like a babe. stillness. darkness. pitch-black. one can hear a pin drop as the old saying goes. sleep eludes me. when his heart wonder will he be able to lead it back to me. insecurity and doubt fill my heart. shall i look for a confidante? but where will i start? will i go to the same confidante but is she credible enough?five, six, seven laps. pant. breath. pant. do i still know how to swim?it was a long time ago. i miss the crappy pool. while i struggle for air, i see teach sitting quietly on her table. doing her usual things-reading, reading and reading. these maniacs don't have anything better to do than sit and gawk. perhaps he is still in the process of accepting his status. we only have been legally together for tin maand.lolo is hurt. I'm worried. i hope he will understand. temptation. amidst all the sorrows and pains, i know You will not forsake me. in all the uncertainties and troubles...

*written 03/01/07 06:24 am